i'm emil. an adrenaline jungkie, adventurous, and a shopaholic, well i'm working on it. well this is sort of a blog that contain some pieces of my life, about what happen and what i feel about stuff, i just want to share every step that i make in this journey of exploring myself. and enjoy every part of these self discovering moments. well you know, just live your life like it's your last!! hope you enjoy it :D Gold Price
i wish there is some kind of way to turn back time, things would be ugly ahead. changes have been made. and i’m kinda in the numb phase rite now when i don’t know how to feel, think, and respond to situation like this. What i’ve been afraid of for years finally happened. I wish everything is okay, or may be i could just pretend that it was. like nothing happened. or just simply ignore it you know. Well still, it’s always hard to see your loved ones are hurting each other isn’t it? you don’t know how to respond, or even feel. to be honest, kinda tired to get thru this shit all over again. everything that i know is about to change. changes are hard, but sometimes it’s necessary though.
i always hate being trapped in the middle of this tension fight at home. especially when that includes mom and dad. that’s why i really want to move out as soon as possible from the house, so i could avoid this shit. It’s good if i had gotten a college that wasn’t nearby, but unfortunately, it is, soo i get stucked here. When i was little, all i could do was just crying, hoping they’re not gonna get a divorce. well you see, their marriage is kinda hot and col, both side really have some issues. i guess. well, i’ve been prepared for the worst for a long time,. but,it hasn;t happened yet. and it’s been upside down and emotional roller coaster for me, and to be honest, even thought i have prepared myself for it, and now i’m older, i’m still scared. the fear of the unknown is haunting me.i try to just ignore it sometimes, when things get ugly, hiding in my room, or in the focus of watching movies hoping the storm to pass asap. i just can’t wait to graduate, and move out, i can’t stand being in this stupid fight for years, this isn’t healthy you know, for anyone to see this extreme unstability at your house, i think there are a lot of people who had worse much worse than me, so who am i to complain rite? that’s life, i could post some of my best moments pictures, and the next i could post some shitty things like this. completely roller coaster. isn’t it?
